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I agree in hindsight I shouldn’t have reached out to them. I just wanted to know if it what his friend told me was true or not. I wasn’t thinking clearly. Al thought- I never said anything specific, I just asked if they would talk to me. I shouldn’t have kept digging. I regret it completely. And I know I shouldn’t have reached out how I did in that first week. It was just how we always communicated and I didn’t think it would be as big a deal as it turned out to be. I didn’t expect his reaction whatsoever.
I took an at home pregnancy test last week and it was positive. I’m just taking a blood test to be certain. I don’t currently have health insurance until next month so it’s all I can do for now.
You dont fix it. Honestly , you just ” leave it be'. If she wants to be your friend, she will come to you, when she is ready. You can't force it on someone when they clearly don't want it.
There's actually a name for this – DARVO.
Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim & Offender.
He doesn't want to be the bad guy, so he is focusing on everything he can think of that puts him on the high moral ground. His anger is misplaced guilt. He doesn't LIKE how guilt feels, so he would rather be angry at you than deal with the fact that HE fkd up.
That's why.
I’ll definitely start looking, thank you for your input it is greatly appreciated
Good luck 🙂
yes girl. you deserve so much better than that and you’ll find someone who will give you the world. screw him
A) No. B) If “No” doesn't work, maybe consider refinancing with her on the mortgage? So you're both responsible for the note. But honestly, no.
Of course she doesn’t see the problem. Her cheating on you isn’t a problem… for her
It's probably best to move on. If someone really likes you, they usually show that by making an effort. Even something as small as responding to texts. This just sounds like he is trying to ghost you. If you must, to make yourself feel better and give one final try, you can communicate exactly what you're saying here. That you thought you've hit it off, that you're a bit worried about his health, and you're just wondering why he hasn't responded. If he doesn't respond after that, that should be your answer that he's not interested, and it should be your last message.
It's all about effort, and if he's not making any of it, he's probably not interested. Sorry OP! Hope you get what you're looking for!
Job centre sent me there it’s mandatory
I don’t mind goung there
It’s just going somewhere where she’s sitting there waiting for her next hunky drug dealer to sit there and take a shine to her
Isn’t easy
Don't show and tell it to anyone. Delete the video. Block her. Her sending that video to you is equivalent to guys sending unsolicited dick pics.
Sus
You weren’t getting hate – you just weren’t hearing what you wanted to hear
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Absolutely this.
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I’m sorry for what you’re dealing with, this is an unfortunate pickle.
One thing I’m not seeing here: yes, you are at a disadvantage because you are financially reliant on your dad. BUT, your dad is clearly also reliant on you to a significant degree. You have some leverage here too.
I’d tell your dad you want accept drop off pick up responsibilities but you’re happy to sit for him other that that. He’s not going to kick out the only assistance he has with his newborn.
I’d die on this hill man. They did you dirty and now they’re making you fester in it.
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I think I’m at an age where I may be seeing this too late and could have used it a few years ago. The friends thing is spot on. Thank you for both of your replies
Well, I seriously hope that you are leaving him because he is absolutely disrespectful to you.
Do you think I'm imagining things? I do read a lot of Reddit haha
It's not a big deal. Nudity =/= sex. I know it's very hot to imagine, but once you've been hot around a group of people a few times, it loses its novelty. People can be nude around each other without it being sexual. Skinny dipping with friends is rad.
1 man’s view out of 3.5 billion. Not interested in his negative view.
If you love somebody then you will know, and then you’ll marry.
Makes me angry when people say “ it husband it wife material”
She’s been crying on the phone but I’m at the point where she can leave she can come get all of this from the house and go
Its good that she is open about her past. I only see healthy things here.
i online with the idea that “if he wanted to, he would”. you could have told her you were busy and needed space. you could have quite literally any time. taking a shit? text her. waiting for food to cook? text her. there i’m sure are multiple even small moments you could have prioritized her and you didn’t.
Yeah, I blocked him. I'm not super close with her, but my mom is, so maybe my parents will help? I could also just message her and ask if she is aware he DM'd me, in case she actually is in on it all.
It’s the truest of truths. If you care about your ex, you should leave him alone.
Your courage and self-esteem are not real. They're grounded in delusion. That's not the source of anything real.
Go be single. For a long time. However long it takes to start being able to make good decisions.
I mean yea but even more so embarrassing and noticeable at a high end place. I mean doing this at a bar down the street where people get waisted and shit faced dressed in crocs isn’t the same as doing this at a high end place where it’s an older crowed, most are sober, and dressed in suits.
Pretty sure that's a crime in almost every country. They aren't hers to do what she wants with them. Text her about it, get her to admit it, then go to the police. They can explain to her that it's not ok to share other people's photos without permission. Whether you keep her around when she has so thoroughly violated your trust is up to you, but you know what we will all say.
First off- wear the heels, I am sure you rock them! Secondly, why would you overlook the fact that she came to you after y'all had been dating a while and said she had a STD? That screams cheating to me
I know if i were in an homosexual relationship, i would end up missing having sex with a man in the long run. I
Are you talking about being in a homosexual relationship as a heterosexual? Because that's completely different than being a relationship with either a man or a woman as a bisexual.
And anyway, the thought process you outline is exactly how thinking someone isn’t a strong candidate for monogamy works, you think that they experienced something, that they won't be content with just you in the long run.
I only read the title. No
Don't apologize. Your “friend” is a bitch. People who go around spreading their ideals to situations that they don't even understand have nothing going for them. So everything you said was true; she's jealous that there are people out there who have a happy relationship. She's upset that your husband bought you a designer bag because no one would even buy her a grocery bag.
You see why he doesn’t get along with the stepmother. If his own family can’t stand him then don’t bother yourself. Also, he had a seven year old kid and can’t get himself together?
oh my gosh i am so sorry that is awful!! disgusting and sick that he would do that. You can NEVER trust him again. Please stay somewhere safe, the fact that he would do that to you is terrible. You should leave him as soon as u can please get out of there
Thank you, means a lot
I just want to say your confidence is inspiring and i wish i had it lol
It really hurts me that she thinks it’s an appropriate thing to say
Aw poor baby’s feelings got hurt 🙁 boohoo.
You know what else probably hurts? Seeing your husband essentially disregard wedding vows. That’s what your friend is doing and what you are doing by extension.
Unfortunately, it may cause a strife in our marriage if we can’t come to a compromise.
Oh don’t even worry about that, your wife will leave you long before that lol
Sounds like you want to shove your ideologies down his throat. You want him to listen to you but you do the same to him when he talks back. Politics create division no matter what side of the aisle you're on.
Are you kidding? Because if you're considering marriage with a person you should be open with them. At the bare minimum mention you have problems with your family and that's why you don't want her to meet them.
He sounds incredibly jealous and insecure. I hope you haven't been putting up with that from the beginning of your relationship.
You can always get an abortion and said it was a false positive or you had a miscarriage.
But… I think you should dump him. I really hate guys who don’t wear condom.
I ghosted men for way less that that. Once a guy complaint about wearing a condom (he lost his ere.tion and blamed on the condom) … I never saw him again. Because if during the first time he said that, I bet he would try without soon or later.
Second: he may have get you pregnant on purpose. I’m sorry, but he may want to trap you or get a child with you and used the condom as an excuse to do it, specially if he thinks you’re not that into him.
Get an abortion and run. Soon and fast.
The situation doesn't call for it at all. What the hell are you on about?
Exactly this!!
I've been to the barber with my husband before, he also sometimes goes on his own, depends what else we have going on. Neither of us are bothered either way.
Obviously something bad happened. I’m really sorry.
Based on what you have written, she was assaulted most likely. It may be very hot to get the truth because she might not remember it at all.
Her friend is either covering up or just does not know about it.
I would suggest pointing out to her carefully and gently that those bruises and scratches had to have come from somewhere and asking her if she has any idea where from.
Really sorry again. This is not a good situation for either of you.
Yeah he prob shouldve communicated that his plabs changed. I hate it when people make me wait up. Its not like it takes much effort.
Even my best friends do that and i give them an earful about it.
Also what is sneaky link? Is that like hide the sausage?
Let's just say working and studying at the same time already shows drive for future successes.
Have you explained to him that you're not going to remain an admin in the medium future? Is he expecting you to go for C suite jobs in your 5 year plan or something? Lack of understanding in this area shows not alot of love and respect
He's old enough he could be one
He did stood up for me in the beginning but stop because all of the drama But when we are together he is really sweet, lovey, and so on, so it is really just is family that are the problem
He is a nutjob. Run.
When I read the title I thought shopaholic debt but further reading makes me sad. She's in debt to try and better her life, the US really sucks.
Dude, a girl telling you that she dreamed about you is a low key signal.
i’m 27F and i’m currently talking to a 23M rn. i’ve already felt the age gap and felt like mommy and it’s not a feeling i enjoyed. so they’re strictly someone i’m hooking up with, and i’m not going to give it room for anything more….
that being said, she did know what she was signing up for (dating someone younger) so it’s unfortunate/unfair that she’s going back on it now. do you feel like she feels you are worth waiting for?
WTF. That's horrible. Nobody should have to go through that.
Your wife is controlling and abusive and let her divorce you as that will free you from her and how will she work if she had y very hot you doing all you do for her. She will have to find and pay someone to do all you do for her. You need to ask yourself what do you get out of this relationship? From what I see nothing
Well you can always get contacts that change your eye color. But seriously brown eyes are warm and just as nice as any other color. Having lighter eyes allows more light in to the eye.
People with lighter color irises, such as blue or gray, experience more light sensitivity than someone with brown eyes. The density of pigment in light eyes is less than that of a darker colored iris. When light hits a dark-colored iris, the higher density in pigment blocks the light rays.
Did you guys discuss ahead of time that finances were going to be very tight for you?
The OP doesn’t say that it was a short amount of time that they were trying. OP said Years. They’ve been married for 4 but she didn’t say anything about when they began trying. They don’t have to have been married prior to start trying to conceive.
OP never said that the husband’s swimmers were slow. Or where exactly the issue was with his sperm or fertility.
OP said that his excuse was not wanting her to go through more pain and also their finances have taken a hit. Just because he suggested it at this point doesn’t prove that this is a false story.
While it is plausible that a person could make all this up, what if they aren’t. And they’ve been through this horrible experience and they come out and share, reaching out for support and they’re met with a stranger calling them a lair. I’d just move on if it seemed like a lie to me, rather than call anyone that’s been through rape a lair. If she is telling the truth, this is a messed up situation.
A lot of people need alone time. I get mine by going to do my hobby or going for a walk or something. Cohabitating with a homebody can be very hot. You basically have to get your alone time outside of the house.
Yeah, it's called “love-bombing”.
Sorry ma'am
But he's insecure
Why are you dating someone who acts like this? Surely you know you're too old for this shit?
I felt the same way as you, I moved out of my abusive home when I was 15,worked full time, flatted, did all the grown up things and thought I was grown up. I dated men mostly about 10 years older than me from around 17 (16 is “legal” ? in my country) and thought I was so mature for my age. Then I got to 23,24,25 etc and realised no fucking way would I touch a teenager because it's creepy and weird and yuck in so many ways. Next I got therapy and started unpacking those relationships, things like my boundaries never being respected to straight up abuse that I didn't notice or understand because I was very young and immature, not for my age but just as a young person will be. Regardless of it being normal in your family or culture, it is not in fact healthy. And this relationship in particular is not healthy. I hope you leave and have a happy with someone who is loving and appropriate for you.
Oh yeah 100% he thinks you’re stuck now so he can be his real monstrous self
Thank you for your service. I'm sorry about the baggage it gave you.
You’re confusion about whether his appalling behavior crossed a line is directly connected to the age gap…
30 minutes away means no hotel required. Take her to stay in the hotel yourselves if she is wanting to try if. Honestly talk to her about it. I have to wonder why she would feel the need to stay in a hotel for an event 30 minutes away. I suspect even if not intentionally perhaps she is wondering what might happen with the colleague. It could also be she wants to get really drunk and doesn't want to be seen like that or other reasons. At least she told you about the guy and has been honest as far as we know to now. You need to talk and set boundaries if necessary.
You've already gone through a divorce, so it seems safe to assume you've done the “terrible relationship” thing. 6 months should definitely still be a honeymoon for both of you. Perhaps he needs more than one year to heal from his divorce everyone moves on differently. I never suggest begging for someone's time or attention. If he pulls away in relationships, that's you now, you're no longer just his friend. You are now the one to be pulled away from if he's struggling. It sounds like he needs a therapist to help give him tools for this kind of thing. Stay or go, but don't beg for his attnetion. Decide what you want and how long you're willing to put up with not having it from him
idk bro she’s making you wait for her and make it seem like you’re on her time which you’re not
Nah, boy, you were talking to them.
Why edit you post?
Gosh, you lie even in an anonymous post on Reddit.
You do realise that people can use Unddit and see your post before you dirty edited it to change your story?
You’re welcome! Sometimes it’s very hot to differentiate being hot from sex itself. I wish you two all the best
Yea isn’t that sorta kinda what happens with cults? Sure there’s the leader but it’s the followers that help keep people in line and on course (to whatever batshit is being said by the leader)
Sounds like she likes to collect “strays” people who fall thru the cracks of life and it makes her feel better about herself if she can help them. She also likes to see nothing but the good in people and doesn’t seem to understand that some just aren’t.
I would start with the second part of her personality when talking to her. Ask her if she understands that this man sexually assaulted you and if he were inclined could have raped her? It’s much more than her ability to diffuse the situation, there WILL be situations where she can’t control that person and in fact she didn’t completely because she admitted he didn’t take no for an answer at first.
Now a question for you. What are her feelings about sex regards to fidelity? Does she only have sex with a special partner or does she consider sex as a fun and nurturing to do? While clearly not 100% accurate, her views on sex matter here. It’s entirely possible she had sex with him to make him feel better and told you about the couch to keep you from getting upset.
I’d approach it this way. Ask her if she understands that she was sexually assaulted. If she doesn’t understand, remind her that it’s sexual assault when someone touches you without permission. Remind her that you warned her about this guy, expressed your feelings and she ignored them. Ask her why your feelings are less important than a person she met a bar? That the relationship she really needs to put her energy into is between the two of you because, it’s hanging by a thread. Tell her you feel completely disrespected that she would allow another man into your exclusive relationship and being “exclusive” isn’t just about sex.
Then look her in the eye and ask her if she slept with him. Can she look you in the eye? Get crazy upset? Talk about how you should trust her? Those would be signs that she did. Also, if she gives that BS “what are you jealous?” Say “damn right I am, are you trying to tell me that you wouldn’t be jealous if I told you I brought a girl home from the bar and she grabbed my package but I let her sleep on the couch?” If she says no, then you really don’t have a relationship and you should end it right there.
Your girlfriend has been pregnant for 70% of your relationship with her. This is above Reddit’s paygrade. Get her into therapy, hire help around the house, and for fuck’s sake wear a goddamn condom.
The time to fight for this was before the divorce.
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below.
Going to try to keep this short.
I 27/F have been casually dating this guy 35/M for about a month now and things have been great. Tomorrow we are supposed to be going out of town together for the first time but I am now uncomfortable because I have been under the impression that he is a doctor (anesthesiologist) and I cannot find his license anywhere or any information.
He lives out of state but we talk pretty much every day. He has come out to see me twice. He’s constantly sending me expensive gifts and has spent so much on this trip already. How do I go about asking or verifying this before tomorrow. I am a nurse so from conversations about his work it seems true but I don’t know. As I said, I cannot find a license or anything. I am worried because this is a huge and unnecessary lie if so.
**
I was not expecting so many comments. I really needed the advice, but unfortunately I suppose I already knew the answer. I have determined with enough evidence that he his NOT a doctor and I will not be going anywhere tomorrow. I am very disturbed. No I have not spoken to him. If he calls I will update, but that is all at this point. I did however find a mugshot. Unable to find any details of what for, however I will not be confronting him on that. Only the license and then he will be blocked and dismissed.
Thank you all for the concern.
Oh love, move on……. He deserved to be your EX boyfriend a lot earlier that 11 days ago. you can and will do better than this bloke for sure.
So you only do things with your boyfriend that your interested in? I feel for that guy
Nope. That sounds hurtful.
She should get a good lawyer and definitely tell them she will not be going on the holiday as they are no longer in a relationship.