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Unfortunately, there’s not much you can do this week. Don’t do any extra texting or send her flowers or anything. That’ll likely push her away even more. It could feel to her like you’re smothering her when she asked for space.
Perhaps ask her if you can meet for coffee or lunch at the end of the week for a two-way discussion about things. Really listen to what she’s saying. Make sure you understand it, and then hopefully she’ll listen to you as you’re talking and explaining things. Perhaps you two can reach an agreement where you can reset and try again.
That's not necessarily true. I think it depends on the law where they on-line. When I gave birth I was the one to give the father's name, he did not have to be there or sign anything. The father was listed as the person I named. If there was a question of paternity then he had the opportunity to go to court and request a paternity test. But there's a catch on that, if he is proven to be the father then he has to pay for it and associated costs. However, if it's determined he is not the father, a judgement is entered requiring the mother to pay for the test and all associated costs. That judgement is also sent to our state's vital records department to have the father removed from the birth certificate.
Can you cum by having sex with her? I can't cum via blow jobs. I just make her happy and the piv.
Why would you get involved? Its not your decision or life.
Oooh interesting! That’s a thought
Graped? Is that code? Are you saying “groped” or the “r” work?
Cool. Communication and trust. The foundations of a strong lasting relationship. Good luck to you both.??
they are already commited thou , you dont need marriage to have commitment
To ME, not him. Are you reading everything?
Waiting for all the downvotes… tread lightly ??? but I stand by my statement
The time will never be right. It’s always one element or another. Jobs. House. Money. Mood. Health. Whatever.
The dude doesn’t wanna have kids. He’s full of excuses and I think he was banking on the idea of you being so deep in this that you’d let it go and he could get out of doing it, because if he wanted kids, y’all would have done this years ago.
Never force a man to have a kid through ultimatum. Think what kinda father that makes. Always make sure your child is born from love and desire to be good parents, because you’re going to have a shit father for your kids if you don’t pick carefully.
Why are all these people arguing its not “grooming?” FFS the definition of grooming by WebMD says “It's when a sexual predator builds a relationship with a child OR ADULT to abuse and exploit them. They build trust but use it to control, isolate, and abuse their victims emotionally, physically, and sexually.” OP is literally the textbook example of grooming whether she's 10 or 100!!!
Maybe you're a great guy with lousy taste in clothes.
Tell me in what situation, besides work, would it be normal for a 27 year old to be friends with a 16 year old. They are at 2 completely different stages in life
Are you unattractive?
I don’t think she’d like that lol. I’ve asked their mutual friends before and they all told me neither wanted to talk about it and acted like nothing happened
It’s more like he gets what he wants way more often then I do and it’s been like this for at least 3 months now.
Whether this story is real or something you fantasised about for the karma, you are an absolute clown and you should feel embarrassed.
I was super duper can't-walk-straight-and-close-one-eye-to-try-and-stay-balanced drunk.
A guy tried to kiss me, you know what I didn't do? Kiss back and cheat on my partner and this was after I was only in the bar because we had a massive fight.
I was literally at my angriest at him, considering to break up and FUCKED drunk and I did not cheat on him because I respect loyalty in a relationship.
The choice remains yours, but my trust would be GONE.
No one said “every woman”. Just “if the circumstances are right”. You also are not every woman. If you wouldn't, good for you. But plenty of women would.
I called my ex at her work when I found out my grandma had passed and I was crying and she instantly came home and held me. I’ll never forget that moment.
I feel like you got robbed and that’s not ok.
I thought this same thing – like giving a woman a vacuum cleaner or pots and pans.
Your gf deserves way better than you. You’re more attractive now and seeking validation from others instead of communicating to your gf & telling her your feelings.. the problem is with you not her. Just leave the girl alone. I can’t believe you’re trying to justify the fact that you’re literally cheating & everyone here is eating it up?. Karma is real OP.
Shit, I’m sorry man, can’t relate to anything that bad!
OP Just ghost her, she broke up with you so you have no relationship and she can hang in that technicality to justify her actions. Block her and unfolow her everywhere.
Block her everywhere and move on with your life, if you find her again just tell her you are not in a mental space to have any kind of relationship with her after all she has done, if she ask what, just tell her you know what she has been doing for the last months and you don't want to talk with her anymore.
Talk with your friends and family about what happend without giving too much details and ask them to please do not give you updates about her and continue with your life. You won't have closure about this, rven if she confess everything, the only reault will be more pain. Remove this unnecessary drama from your life.
She is WAY too old for you. She is a creep.
I mean an ick is whatever you want it to be, BUT I don’t see this as a red flag YET. If you also enjoyed the date, give him a chance.
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Divorce him before you destroy your life
Time for a divorce
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I am sorry. Sometimes actions speak louder than words. You deserve more and better.
What's wrong with thinking about your ex? You can't just drop out of life for every experience you have with someone you dated. If you're that fucked up by ice skating – you haven't moved on in your heart and probably shouldn't be dating someone new yet.
I mean did your ex cheat on you by screwing someone AT the ice skating rink?
Why are you sleeping with your ex? You’re 21, it’s time to learn that people can say one thing but not be honest. He’s stringing you along for sex, telling you things you want to hear and making false promises just to get in your pants. He likely didn’t want to deal with the commitment of a relationship but still wanted to sleep with you. So here you are in this situation.
If you don’t want to be treated like this then stop participating. Block him and don’t see him or talk to him anymore.
I have no idea what kind of Fetish one would derive from this but OK
She gets up at 7 and I get up at 8:30-9:00
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I understand if he couldn’t help me during working hours but it was 9pm and he was working on a personal project…this happens often where I feel he would prioritize everything else before me.
He's not all bad, I'm gratefully for what he does for me, I just feel that he's immature in some aspects, and as I said I love him, I love cooking for him, making him feel heard ( how wasn't your day), comfortable, happy, and financially he's responsible, but how come you spent 600.00$ on a spoiler for the car want to spent 2k more on a module to make your Tesla 3 seconds faster but can't provide me with some money so I can get some things for myself.? I want to work and I have a plan, and he seems to be on board but all that paperwork will take months for what he wants to do and I want to do, cause it's more then one thing and ar2 different, I want to certify myself as a nail tech, cause I used to do nails for myself fam, and frends, but can't attend public clientele without a certificate and some permits if I want to make it a business, but then again, that takes time, and he wants me to just be broke with no income until that happens, he wants me doing Uber(he want to put a tracker on the car to), that and certifiy myself as a Nailtech would take many months, plus I don't have a Driver's license, it's gonna take Hella time, and he wants me to just not have any type of income till then…
You shouldn't have had a kid with her when the relationship was this toxic. If it's bad for you can you imagine how worse would it be for the child. You don't need to open up to her, do it with your male friends. Just spend quality time with your child.
Yeah, it’s all part of the same picture.
If I’m walking down the street and I see one guy hit another guy, if I go flying to decent the one getting hit, maybe it turns out the fight was because one guy assaulted a woman and I caught the aftermath, maybe it’s two brothers and when the cops come they both just point at me, or, or ,or. There are other reasons I’m gun shy about it, but that’s the crux.
I have intervened in a DV (before it got physical), and everything turned out fine. My size does one of two things to the male ego: it gives them an excuse to back off, because I’m also not aggressive about it, I try to deescalate. The other possibility is they feel emasculated and get their heckles up.
Either way, I look at it as a specific risk that WILL go wrong for me one day anytime there’s a possibility of me being involved in a confrontation/violence.
Does she demand he work crazy hours? Is she the one who insisted he be the one who only work? Maybe I missed something?
Updateme
Do you understand what babytrapping is?
I understand both perspectives. It would be scary as shit to tell your partner the first time that you are trans but if you are going to be in a relationship with a person you have to learn how to be able to get over that. I am also aware this could be fiction trying to drum up “outrage”.
Have you ever heard the saying ‘win the battle, lose the war?’
Being ‘right’ is a very subjective measure. Yet you are treating it as an absolute and refusing to see other points of view. That’s not great for relationships. It’s also not great intellectually, where it is important to play ‘devil’s advocate’ and challenge your own thinking as a way to learn, grow, and sharpen your own arguments.
Almost every decision has pluses and minuses. Let’s say you are picking a restaurant. One option might be cheaper, but take more time, and the food is inconsistent. The other might be fast and predictably good food, but is expensive.
If you definitely want a good meal, option two is the right choice. If money is tight, option two is not a great move. In fact, maybe you should cook instead.
You are unilaterally deciding that your ‘pluses’ are more important than your gfs. You are STILL digging in that not risking this event is more important than letting your gf make decisions. That you would rather be ‘right’ and single than ‘wrong,’ but still on a train platform with your gf by your side. Do you want to win the battle, or the war? It’s too bad it’s come to this, but your gf told you she’s beyond fed up. Believe her.
I have made ‘good’ decisions that turned out terrible. I have made ‘bad’ decisions that turned out great. If you miss the train you can just change plans and go walk around town somewhere. Life will go on.
Take some time and read through all the posts about people who opened their relationships on this sub. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a single one where it turned out okay when both partners weren’t equally interested in opening it.
You value monogamy.
Your partner no longer does.
It’s okay to walk away because your values no longer align.
When I was your age, I totally tried to be the cool GF when I walked in on my BF and BFF in a compromising position. All it did was leave me miserable, destroyed my self-esteem, and I stayed in a bad relationship that hurt me for longer than I should have. It took me years to recover. Don’t do that to yourself.
Yes you should tell your partner. You haven’t done anything wrong here, but keeping things from your partner won’t work in your favour if you want the relationship to be open and honest.
Ohhhh, this used to be me. Therapy my darling. My current boyfriend not only looks at my face but holds my chin so I watch him watching me in a mirror. I promise, if you do the therapy, you can move past it
Of course you should drive yourself….not only because that’s obviously more convenient for everyone, but also because then you have the power and freedom to leave whenever you want to.
You’ve only been dating a month…what if you get into a fight? You wanna be stuck in a car with him for an hour and a half after?
It’s a big age gap. If the issue is money, maybe he can help you pay for gas.
Your right. Thanks!
Honestly it’s probably guilt he’s feeling and that’s why he’s acting the way he is. I’m pretty sure if they were having an affair she would have said yes if they were having an affair to have some alone time with each other
Either you both get her as a fwb or girlfriend for the couple or you don't touch that with a 10 foot pole.
If you do it will screw up your couple dynamic.
I’m super duper annoying tbh
I only like doing my hair and makeup for work, and that’s because I have to. It’s just a part of looking professional IMO.
Try and figure out what he likes first and then go from there.
I’m so sorry that you’re experiencing such gruesome heartbreak. I’ve been there. It’s going to get so much better with time.
It’s worth dissecting what happened in that relationship with a therapist, as others have noted. But focus on your healing and self-care. You’re allowed to be hurting and I’m sorry it’s so naked. Hugs.
Change the age range on the dating app?
A man crying in front of me would change nothing except deepening my respect for him. Showing your emotions takes strength. That’s true masculinity to me.
So he's an all around shit person. Don't date shit people.
Honestly, yeah. I totally agree. But we've been together for so long that I really want a future with him. We already have plans of moving in together and everything.
“Breath play” why did people start calling it that?
Please keep in mind:
It's not that he has anger issues, but he uses his anger to control you and your behaviour.
you’re thirty years old and already figured out what’s going on with your body and took care of it. A LOT of guys don’t do that in their 50’s and trust me, we as women like it a lot more when you do.
Anyone that tells you viagra makes you less of a man doesn’t deserve to any good viagra sex smh
Don’t worry, he’s gonna be doing just fine without you
It sounds like you're not sure that this is the right relationship for you. If the lust is wearing thin, it might be time to move on. She'll be sad, but the truth is that she needs someone closer to her own age and with similar life experiences.
Good luck!
Seriously I couldn’t imagine this feeling of betrayal and insignificance, my heart breaks for this sweet woman. ❤️?
You're literally a teenager and he's 6 years older than you… trying to rape you. WTF? You probably get UTIs from his dirty little dingaling. Please break it off- he is abusing you.
I mean, that's one interpretation. But if that is how OP feels about it, she never bothered to say so. In what way do you think making such an accusation would help the OP's issue?
I kind of agree with your first point.
I absolutely do not agree with the comment that because it's her husband it's any different. The vast majority of rape is done by a person's partner, not a stranger.
BIG red flag.
Are you doing OK? What did she say?
Gonna be honest, in my experience, this is how a vast majority of women see the men they settle down with. They settled.
And why in the world would I cheat on him in our apartment, then take the guys underwear, wash them, and put them in his drawer?!
If you haven't already, lean into this. Either you're the world's worst person at being devious/wants to get caught; or it's an honest situation that an old pair of pants from someone else entered circulation.
We all know washing machines eat socks, there's no shortage of nooks in a flat that'll munch a pair of pants until moving day. Heck, the gap under sofas eat pregnancy tests… for 5 years…true story.
Oh my God, yes.. i love going to bars and i have had soooo many male bartenders (not naked) at places I frequent say, hey so i know you have a crush on me since you come visit me all the time… And I'd be like WTF?! No! I'm just a drunk! haha
You can believe what you like about him, but I can smell the gaslighting from here.
Ease all the stuff out and make it a couple thing to eat healthier and exercise. You can couch it in you needing her support. That you've noticed that you're having trouble and really need to be healthier, school, stress, metabolism, and bring her along for the ride. I'm sure you know, since you're asking, people can be sensitive to suggestions about diet and weight. So maybe this will help.
thanks. i mean silicon boobs vagina combo has such a nice ring to it. i wish it wasn't a masturbation toy. it sounds so much like a real girl. 🙂
who is still smoking these days christ
Oh, I missed the fact that they have been serious only for six months. I thought they had been a couple for three years.
Yeah – that changes everything.
Way to high maintenance, you will drive yourself crazy jumping through hoops…. And I bet others have already…. You're allowing her to set the narrative
Yeah, I don't want to be judgemental with the little info we go by with these posts but that last blurb bothered me a bit. It seemed to be more focused on her distress and not the fact that she's bothered that her boyfriend is going through worse with his parents. Seems like he had to deal with a lot at home and hearing his dad say that most have been extremely hurtful.
So yeah, communication after giving him some space. I'm feeling sorry for the bf on all accounts though, either way. ?
If she slapped you this time, next time it'll be worse.
Leave her and find someone who's mentally balanced.
I wouldn't stay, she sounds like a drunken party girl and they are always drama
I'd be really suspicious that he had some other (real) reason he didn't want you there and made up some dumb excuse/picked a fight. Does he have any new co-workers?
I kinfd of wonder , after reading this post, how do you dare to ask anyone about giving her your eggs.
Have you read yourself?
“We shouldn't have gotten married”
Is open relationship like the new “anal”? Why are people so hyped up to jump into it without giving it much thought on what's required to make it work?
Yes, it is weird to have your parents host your ex everyday. Child or not.
Ayye. Just run and save yourself the headache. You're gonna be treated like some kind of lowlife piece of garbage that beats on your girl by her whole family now. I've seen this play out too many times. Couple breaks up, spends a couple weeks apart, one tells the family how terrible and evil the other is, get back together, now you're struggling to not get dirty looks, threats and degrading questions at thanksgiving or when you and future FIL “have a chat”.
Here's my advice, fuck that chat, to hell with the flowers, screw a bunch of dates that just translate into “how much money are you willing to spend for us” just to get in good graces with people that are never going to like you again. Unless of course you can manage to convince the family that she was the problem in the first place which, good luck with that shit.
Anyone saying you need to be a Chad to pickup women needs to read this.
I have to ask.. What's wrong with you that you're willing to date a dude that smells like old food? There's a lot of things I'm willing to tolerate, but bad hygiene isn't one of them.
I just wanted advice. Sheesh.
because I “knew Jim’s stances on porn in a relationship”
What's his stance on porn, that it's OK for him to watch but not OK for his partner?
Yea. That's not OK. Point out his hypocrisy to him, give him a deadline to realise jes being an ass and if he doesn't, get rid.
I think it would have been a good idea for him to bring up the photo shoot to you so that you could suggest her using a different photographer if it was gonna be an issue for him to do it.
But idk if you would have been happy with a stranger doing to the shoot either.
Your husband has a pattern of being emotionally abusive to you and your son. It doesn't matter if he seems awesome the rest of the time, the control and punishment he uses on you both is toxic and abusive.
That whole “he's great 90% of the time” thing is literally classic for what people in abusive relationships say. Most people don't have to quantify how much of the time their partner is treating them like trash.
I hope he cuts contact for good with you and can heal from this situation
Yikes if that’s the response you got from saying I want to dress BETTER…….girlllll run for the hills. DUDE’S ACTING LIKE YOU SAID I WANT TO GO NAkEY NAKEY from now on.
But on a serious note put on a rocking outfit break up with him because YOU DESERVE BETTER. Like a boss.
Also don’t you think most versions of peoples breakups are no contact immediately at first, few months minimum depending on length of relationship and then MAYBE friends after time has passed and both parties are healed? He’s asking to stay in touch and see eachother right away, in the near future. He also said, word by word “and I don’t want to fade out of contact.” Then comes over to my house to talk about all of this with me, and imitates cuddling, holding me, ect. Even the very first night this was sprung on me we had sex. I know I need to set stronger boundaries but it’s naked when it’s in the moment and he’s initiating these actions and I’m also not the one who ever wanted to break up. All of this along with his wishy washy ness and also telling me how heart broken lying awake at night thinking about things, giving himself stress ulcers and not eating, being the first person to open up my snap stories ect. He’s definitely shifting the responsibility to create healthy boundaries around his own decision to break up, and it’s very hot, because all of this confusions me to no end. However, I’m going to do it after hearing a lot of the advise on here because I need to do what’s best for myself since letting him be in my life like this after he broke up with me is just causing me pain
No you don't. It is a trap.
Tranastional analysis call this a psychological game. If you take the bait, the situation will suddenly twist to make you the asshole for having follow her untold request.
Take more time with her. Play fifa with her or whatever she likes to do.
No one lets a potential employer contact a current employer for references. That would get everyone fired if that happened like ever.
It all depends. Any skin-to-skin contact can be, or can become, intimate. On the other hand, lots of people will give a platonic friend a shoulder rub (through clothing) or massage their stiff neck.
Since it bothers you, ask him not to do it again. He may think it's no big deal, but if it upsets you, it's a big deal.
Hahaha.. wet tea bags in nostrils!
You are closer in age to the daughters than the man. The dog is not getting trained enough. He does not care. He is not on your side (although I agree that you yelling at her was wrong)
Please find a counselor. You need to work through why you went back, why you stay and what you want in a relationship.
No excuse. He’s an adult now. He needs to seek a therapist out and come clean at least to his parents who are her guardians so if she does remember she can get appropriate help.
Get over it.
She is allowed to smoke any time she wants.
She doesn't want to quit. If you love her and want to be with her. You accept that.
Go get help to get over your anxiety issues.
You lied and now you’re surprised your wife doesn’t trust you? How does that make sense. You made this an issue
The thing is, if two co-parents are already close friends, why would one expect that to change?Co-parents don't have to be good friends but many are and that's typically amazing for the child. Some of it is completely fair, but a lot of it comes with dating a single parent. If I started dating a single mom tomorrow who's on good terms with her ex, I'd absolutely expect this guy to be a major part of my life now because his kid is a major part of my life now. I expect him to have stories for days about his dad and I expect all of his most beloved experiences and memories to involve his father. There are some things that you are going to have to get past if you want to date someone with a child. I don't date people with children for this reason. It would be too drastic of a change to my particular lifestyle.
Ooooo also write a book about this and give him anal herpes (is that a thing?) or something.
Lol..word. Either a troll or vapid piece of complete shit.
Yes, please tell us you used protection. He had drunk sex in the bathroom before coming home.
Oh yes because all you have to do to stop an abuser is ask the magic sentence… Are you gaslighting me? Everyone knows they have to say the truth just like a cop Has to tell you if they’re an undercover cop LMFAO what is even the point of this it’s been six months what the fuck are you holding onto?
Galactic Yeet Time.
Do you usually lie to your husband about it though? This is the main factor here.
End it and move on , he isn’t interested unfortunately
Tell everybody you saw photo and video of him fucking other women.
As you had ed not sent it to yourself,you have no proof. But you don't need to break up.
Change your key, block him,warn your co-workers and family, and then warn your friends. They will confront him.
If he comes ” to explain,” ask him to show the photo and video. If he deleted it, you know that all that he will say I'd a lie.
I don't necessarily think it's a him or them situation…feels more like it's just a deal breaker for her. Which if that's the case I'm sorry you're going through this, I have no wisdom to give to you op. Perhaps ask her that if she wants you to do the divorce proceedings then she must first disclose as to why she wants the divorce in the first place. Perhaps once that's known you can go from there.
Exactly
It’s okay girly! That’s what this sub is here for! Good luck.
I don't feel cool. I'm usually pretty calm and collected but fuck this is stressful I don't know how anyone does this …serial daters are out of their minds.
Dude cmon, this girl is just preparing you for the inevitable, I’m leaving you for friend I’ve been cheating on you with, get ready op, no way she’s not cheating, no fing way
Your gf is nuts. Only thing to do is to stop dating her.
How come he isn't demanding she quit her job then to spend time with him?
Why is he okay she spends 20 days a month 8 hours a day working without him?
Why is the line too far her spending 2 days a month for her mental and emotional health?
I'm sure I'll be downvoted here but I think other commenters are jumping too quickly to 'leave him'. Your fiance is seriously mentally ill and needs help. You were willing to marry him, and this is we mean when we say 'in sickness and in health'. I'm not saying you can cure him, but personally I don't think you should walk out on him at this difficult moment for you both.
How is your wider network? Does he have friends? It might be worth talking to them and planning an approach, a small intervention from others might help him see that he needs therapy and maybe other medical help. For me, when I tipped over into full mental breakdown, seeing a doctor and a short course of antidepressants was enough to break the doom spiral.
And how about you, do you have friends you can talk to and draw support from? You probably feel very lonely without your usual teammate on hand at the moment. Be sure to take care of yourself, because you can't fill from an empty cup.
Good luck OP. This is a horrible time but it will pass. Wish you well.
Are you sure it’s even a work trip and not just an excuse to get together?
Louder in the back so everyone can hear!
But on the same point isn't it also fair to say I shouldn't have to accept it?
What are you going to do? Slap it out of their hand? Turn on your heel an stomp away? You have waaaay too much vitriol about this. It's … scary, quite frankly.
Honestly, Opiuo in labor. Or either the safe bed that she can hold onto and just have other guys on the side to give her validation or five nights with. Or if she’s looking for your replacement. Regardless, why would you want to be with someone who was doing that.
What a no problem to make a fuzz about hahaha, a trash can with lid or even an automatic trashcan will do, is just another lil bag of trash instead spending a lot on plumbing for a fixer upper, theres your answer, he grew up poor and thats what happens in old houses, is easier to just have a trashcan where you can throw the used tp, thats why it has scent in the first place i suppose
” IT'S HIS FAULT I AM ABUSIVE” Victim blaming much?
Advice? Stop being a POS and be a better person and take some accountability instead of blaming him for it. Admit you're a bad person and be better.
You want to get out now. And take all his shit.
First off, majority may like the idea of having a threesome merely as a fantasy, and this is when they are single.
Besides, even if you were in the minority, what does it matter? This is your preference, you aren't worse for that in any way.
Fiancé runs the risk of the friend calling him a liar, appearing jealous, or often wondered if she does have similar feelings but since friend never mentioned she doesn’t. Fiancé is in a tough spot if that’s the reason for the fight. He also may have been the aggressor in the fight so he could be seen as a violent jealous person. It’s whomever is in the wrong story to tell. However, she’s marrying the fiancé and might need to address why she is asking us not him. They will need to communicate about worse to make the marriage last and if she does want to know he needs to tell her. She also can’t freak out on him for being truthful. They will need to discuss it like adults planning on getting married. If it’s the reason we think, then the friend is a liar and a creep she should take the loss and move on.
Sounds like he uses love as leverage which is an extremely abusive thing to do. Love bombing and withholding love often go hand in hand and can lead to anxious attachment
OK, can I ask why you assume I'm not assigning value to her work? Just going off the information in this post, which is all the information you have, would you assume that?
B/C I obviously don't feel that is the case. And don't feel I've said anything to indicate that. So it seems like you are bringing in a stereotype to me. See above: I said nothing about childcare, you assumed my wife was providing more of it than I was. That doesn't reflect reality, or any information I provided.
You're not real.
Dump his ass. He can request whatever he wants. He should also be able to take no for an answer without whining like a little bitch.
Oh honey, what exactly did you do wrong?
How could you have prevented this?
There's a reason this guy looked for a younger woman.
Were you planning on trying ketamine at this party? Whose idea was it?
Sweetheart, if your best friend told you this happened to them, how would you feel? Would you tell them they should be ashamed of themselves?
Why do you deserve to be punished for this?
A good therapist can help you get to the root of why you would want to stay with a person who could treat you this way. You deserve a soft life full of love and a partner who contributes meaningfully to that. You are worthy.
This wasn't a mistake, everyone pukes sometimes honey. Be kind to yourself.
Dont you dare look for her and go check into therapy asap
Have some self-respect and leave. You'd be absolutely pathetic if you stay with him.
I don't mean to be a dick but I kind of see where your boyfriend is coming from you sound alot like my ocd godmother always having to plan things but like to the extreme he's trying to tell you he wants something simple and he doesn't want to make this a job he just wants to have fun and your nagging him about his birthday of all days! Just stop trying so naked and take a laid back approach he's probably already stressed our about alot of things ask him how he wants to handle things and stop stressing yourself out
You can't do fwb with someone you have feelings for, that's a car crash.
Tell her that you understand she's not ready for a relationship, but you need some stability and you can't have whatever this is, so you're going to need some distance.
If she's ready for a relationship in the future then get in touch, and if you're single and also ready you can try again then, but for now, it's goodbye.
Like milk.. oh lord ?
I’m confused. Are you the mom and you’re pretending to be the daughter so people don’t call you out for trying to make this decision for your daughter, or do you share a Reddit account with your mom?
Explain to him that the pressure he is putting you under is making you feel even worse. If he really wants to help you, together you should research how to be supportive of a spouse with your conditions. And bring him with you to your doctors appointments so he has a better understanding.
Are you just going to bash me about being honest or have a conversation ? I cheated and lied and all of it at the beginning and then didn't cheat again only only porn and Instagram women. There was no talking after the initial cheating scandal
You’re right. I always feel bad for him because he doesn’t have very many friends where we on-line and I don’t want him to feel lonely. Now I’m wondering why I feel bad when he tries to keep me from having my own social life just because his isn’t what he wants it to be.
I’ve brought up so many times over our relationship how isolated i’ve felt since I met him, and he has never changed and never even acknowledge it over the past two years until now. He always gaslight me and tells me that I don’t spend enough time with him even though I spend 6 nights a week at his house
Doesn’t matter if she is or isn’t. Super inappropriate to be getting drunk as a 19yo and staying at a 30yr olds house. He’s potentially committing a crime by providing alcohol to someone underage as well, if it’s in the US. Super disrespectful of her to do that, and if she doesn’t see why it’s weird she’s partying with a 30yr old, sleeping in his bed, and getting drunk w him w/o you, she’s wayyyy too immature. Young girls are naked but goddamn can they be stupid. Get yourself a milf lol
What's the difference between a fiancee and a girlfriend? If he hasn't made a commitment after 2 years, does that mean he's not ready for a serious relationship?
“If you can’t tell me who is spreading these very significant rumors about me, then I can’t marry you. I don’t feel like you’re in my corner, and unless we can work through these doubts you’re having honestly, and as a team, there is no future for us.”
I’m sorry what? Women have intuition for a reason. The moment you sensed something off in your gut, you were right. You were right about him/them from the get go. He tried to manipulate and gaslight you into thinking you were crazy or wrong, when in fact you were spot on the money.
This marriage is doomed.
He is basically saying, he recognises there is a problem, but he wants to pursue rather than run from it.
Your best option is to bow out. He does not love you. No man worth his weight in salt would allow any woman to come between him and his wife, he would have immediately shut it down. There is no win here for you. He has not safeguarded your marriage. He has not sought to protect you. He has deliberately betrayed you and has no intentions of stopping.
Let this trash pile go.
He is forcing you to discard him. He wants a reverse discard. So then you are the bad guy. No one who knows the story will ever see him as the victim here.
Give him what he wants, a divorce.
Lobe isn't always enough. He and his mom do NOT have a healthy relationship. They sound somewhat enmeshed, in my opinion. You are better off running away from this mess.
Could spoil it, could not..impossible to say unless someone is in that relationship.
I agree
Nah, don't settle for someone who isn't enthusiastic about being with you.
Funny enough, she was just broken up with by her ex about a few days before the sticker incident. I remember her telling me that and that she was in a bad mood that day.
Why don't you just tell her, next time she makes fun of your car, “ok, you've made it clear you don't like my car, I get it.” If she doesn't stop after that I would move on, because the more serious you get with someone like that, the more she will make those comments – about you, your family, how much money you make, your friends etc. Do you really want to be with someone who gives a fuck what you drive?
I’m 41. Let me tell you, it gets worse. I cannot believe how much less the average 25yo understands about on-line that another 15 years will give. I just don’t understand someone okay with an age gap like this.
As someone that works with kids, unless this kid has special needs, I'd say bail
Bad behavior is sometimes a product of their environment
If the kid is acting jekyll and Hyde when the dad leaves the room, you need to leave stat. This kid has sophisticated thinking and knows how to manipulate the situation
I mean, the thing about differences in political opinion is that it's easy to write off political opinions as being meaningless. “Oh, well, I care about fiscal responsibility and enforcement of existing laws and border security and all that stuff. It's all theoretical, it isn't about people.” Except that it totally is. Politics is the rough and uncomfortable business of translating ethics into law. Every political issue is ultimately a rewording of one simple question: “Who should the state count as actually being a person? Which rights should we defend, and who among us should have those rights defended?”
And, speaking only for myself, I wouldn't bother being friends with anyone who differed with me on the topic of human rights.
It sounds like he's not doing anything for you. If he wanted to take you out and do nice things for you, it should be because he wants to do those things. But here it's obvious he's doing stuff expecting something in return, so it's all for him.
If it is not something you actively desire, are comfortable with, and fully on board, don't do it.
You don't need to hurt yourself to keep your bf happy. That is the complete antithesis of a happy relationship. You should both be trying to keep the other happy. If this is going to hurt you, then it shouldn't happen. You need to tell him this. Or break up.
All good relationships are about communication, compromise, and understanding. Without these, love and loyalty, you have nothing. You will be creating long-term mental damage in trying to fix a short-term problem.
Good luck
I dont think there's any way to come back from this. This was a clear line in the sand and you chose to cross it. Probably should just take the L and move on.
“if something is bothering me i have to tell her that very second or she gets annoyed”
this is not a red flag, this is a glaring red billboard.
this is a power play, a controlling stance, you can't reason with her because her end goal, consciously or unconsciously is to make you feel inadequate and for her fragile little ego to get a fleeting boost