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Maybe people should rebel against it. Hell, Ireland used to pretty much be a theocracy until people pushed back against that shit. Cultural norms don't have to remain until the end of time.
Well OP I must be the only one on your side here. I see it as a very important milestone for your mom and I am happy that you want to support her. So sorry your gf doesn't feel the same. Good luck to you.
If you are incapable of spelling the word “sex” you aren't mature enough to have it.
Would you be saying the same thing if a woman was disappointed she had two sons and couldn’t pass on a female name from her side of the family?
Break up with him. This is NOT a normal reaction. Smoke all the weed you want and dump this abusive p.o.s. already.
It's your only choice at this point. I wouldn't even bother. I'd leave.
Well just walk in his shoes. Would you be ok if he had a female friend whom he spent more time with and talked with while also knowing she has a crush on him?
Relationship sometimes require you altering your life because your entwining it with someone else and now you must take each others feelings and time into consideration.
Not talking to him is very immature and emotional manipulation. I doubt you would like it if he did that to you. Hopefully as you get more experience with relationships youll learn to think of it from their side as well.
All other issues aside, her telling saying “you should be ashamed for wanting sex” is not okay imo. You should not be ashamed. While I recognize plenty of asexuals participate in, and even enjoy sex, the fact that she is ‘sex repulsed’ – even sometimes – would be a dealbreaker for me. If you communicate openly the relationship won’t work. Time to move on and don’t let her tell you or convince yourself “it’s because she’s asexual”.
You do not need a consensus, you need therapy. Kick her out, have her go stay with boss at motel, let them figure it out.
You fix yourself asap.
We have known eachother for a long time so we have gotten to know one another. Our first times we both admit was just us being very immature I mean there are stories behind both of them but yeah
Bro it is not that serious. Just say the hobby.
Because that person isn’t a good match for you….
Talk to him and tell him youndont like that word and discuss what can and can't be said
What a fucking moron. Please leave this idiot
Sounds like your daughter established a boundary she would like you to respect in order to continue a relationship with her. You have two choices- accept the boundary and have a good relationship with your daughter OR don’t accept the boundary and show your daughter she’s not worth respecting which will only damage the relationship as she insists on her worth. You don’t get to tell her what she should or shouldn’t be willing to accept from people- that’s her choice.
I can ask him if we could fast forward! That’s a good idea.
I see that now. I got lost in the sentence. I still stand by my statement that three to four months is too soon to bring your date around your kids. It shows a lack of judgment.
Talk it out with her. See if she wants to have a LDR with you or not. And stick with what you said that the one condition is that she does not get together with other guys.
YWBTA if you decide to settle for somebody who can't buy you a flipping cake for your birthday who makes more money than you do, he's probably convinced you that you're not worth it. Find somebody who knows that you are worthwhile and worth at least the price of a cake. He sounds appalling you should think of yourself as being worth more than this
you should open up about it and see what she says. If she still doesn’t want to be in a relationship anytime soon but wants you to stick around. Would you? It’s vice versa if a guy would told me to basically stick around and see where it goes and I’m months in and nothing is changing I’m dipping. But that’s just me.
Oh, he's already cheating on you.
No..SCREAM!
I’m not being rude. I stated my opinion. Luckily I don’t on-line in a world where everything is to be thrown away the minute you disagree with something. My friend knows my stance, what she does in her life does not reflect me or my life. Thank you for your lovely assumptions though. I’ll be sure to not waste another second thinking about them
Not sure if they do this, but maybe a therapist cand help?
The extra crispy channel?
By that point in a relationship, emotionally I would need the other person to love me back. He’s saying it could realistically be another year before he’s ready to say it?? Me, I wouldn’t be able to wait for that. I’d break up and find someone who does love me.
I get it. I was having a conversation with a bakery worker the other day. I told him there was a fertilizer shortage, and he says, “Oh, I assume because of the war with Ukraine and Russia supply has been disrupted.”
I didn't have to explain anything about geopolitics, supply lines, or chemistry. It was nice.
She often has a dichotomous thinking, lots of stupid logical fallacies, naive thinking
To be real honest with you, this also describes every smart person I've ever met lol. I keep a mental list of all the recent dumb shit I have done and tell my friends. we have a laugh about it, and if my ego ever gets too big, they have a lot of ammo to deflate it.
As for your relationship, I think you two should break up. You don't sound fulfilled, and you're hiding bits of yourself to keep this thing going. That's not healthy. Couples don't have to share all their interests, but they should be able to share some of them.
100% that, doing the 2 immediate family is a choice thing, but being passed around is bullshit
I think he was hoping that giving her a massage would change her moind but neglected to make sure her mind was changed before trying anything. It sounds like he was counting on a “better to ask forgiveness than permission” type thing, which is NOT something you do for sexual situations.
Sorry I’m just trying to figure out why 5-10 a week isn’t enough?
Yeah we’ve just started dating but we did know each-other for around three months before that, he’s been around for a while, I only told them when we became exclusive though. I keep my business to myself and that’s why I haven’t shared much about him with them, they only know the basic stuff, name, age, what he does for a living. And I only share cause they ask
I do not agree.
Sometimes people are born and feel unhappy with the body they on-line in.
What is there even “to prepare” someine else for? Let them be. This is nobodys business but their own!
Now would be a great time to learn!
If you can, I think you should go to the bank and open your own account that has nothing to do with your mom, and inform the bank that she absolutely is not allowed access. Then you can start saving and maybe move out
Not doctor Phil ? But seriously, thanks 🙂
And what? You tell your wife I don't want you talking to her friend anymore? Because she might catch the cheating virus? Your wife has given you no reason to doubt her loyalty. Your wife can distance herself if she doesn't want to associate with someone like that.
He knew you didn't want to be slapped, spanked or have your hair pulled. He did it anyways. He is showing you who he is and he is showing you he doesn’t respect you
It's not a misunderstanding. I know it's really hard to face the ugliness of what happened to you and call it what it is, but it was rape. Ideally, reporting him is what should happen but we don't on-line in a perfect world. It's very hot to do that and try to seek help for that.
Regardless of what route you take, PLEASE take good care of yourself. Look into therapy and please put some distance between you and this person. If he disregarded your protests now, it'll likely happen again. I'm so sorry this happened to you.
There is no reason in any of the worlds for her to go away with another man. Please tell me she’s not considering it? Because if she is, you have a serious problem on your hands. How would she feel if you had a female coworker who proposed the same thing? Would she be okay with that?
Something is going on.
She isn’t to blame for you cheating on your gf.
I think because she moved to a new area and you’re the one she’s living with she’s probably going to assume that she could kind of tagalong with you and your friends will be her friends so I think it’s important that you just don’t invite her out whenever you’re doing individual stuff but I think to put the wall up and say I’m not going to be her friend is pretty nasty of you honestly especially because you know that she doesn’t have anybody I can’t see why it would be such a big issue to offer to go out to lunch with her and study together or some thing. There are extremes to everything but telling your roommate you don’t want to be friends is not cool. I almost feel like you shouldn’t be asking for a roommate if you’re going to cop an attitude like that because WTF girl. It would be different if you found out she was wiping her ass with your toothbrush but she’s done nothing to you and you just don’t like her because.. she’s eager to have friends? Yikes. It doesn’t make you sound like a very nice person.
Her choosing to “accept this and get over her discomfort” would be a colossal mistake since this man has shown OP numerous times that this “best friend” means more to him than she does.
Also, OP never forced him to do anything. She walked away from him and only started dating him after he lied to her about his willingness to not be close to this other woman. She has simply wanted her boundaries respected and while he initially said he was willing to do that for OP, he VERY quickly went back on his word. OP has done nothing wrong here besides staying with him.
Why didnt you think of trying to make a relationship out of the Fwb situation?
Asking out of interest
Exactly and why she has no interest in her current bedroom.
Focus on the part where he cheats on his wife, she probabky thinks she is the love of his life. That PoS is not worth it
You don’t know everything, don’t make an assumption. I’m well aware he likes me but our friendship is important to him more than dating me. He didn’t reject me. He simply decided that we are healthier as friends.
Certain things are easier said than done depending on your circumstances. As a girl, I can’t imagine ever picking up a hitchhiker due to a fear of it being dangerous. While it’s admirable that he wants to help others, he should be conscientious of your safety and comfort. There’s other ways to help people that don’t necessarily need to put yourself in risk
I bet his crypto imploded into nothingness and he does not want to realize -70% losses.
You shouldn't be buying a house with someone you aren't married to anyways.
This singular insight may be the most damning thing you've said about your partner. Do you get how emotionally immature a person has to be, not only to think like this, but to actually voice these adolescent thoughts directly to their partner?
It shows everything from a lack of self awareness, to a lack of empathy, to a lack of social skills, to a lack of emotional maturity.
I mean, he's 22, he's not beyond growth. But if you are more mature than him, consider what you will and won't put up with in a partner. Because (and I could be wrong) I foresee a lot more “insensitivity” from him towards you, in your near future.
Is there another way to take it? He literally said he would leave you. Completely disregarding your marriage vows, which if they were standard actually covered this.
And when you clarified he wouldn’t want his dad to leave his mom in a similar situation he said that was different. It’s not different, other than chosen residency vs 9 month enforced residency.
I'd be very upset if my partner reacted to masturbating like that, it's very shaming. I would not like that environment at all.
I don’t agree with everyone saying he is wasting her time and he should break up with her.
She is a grown-ass woman who is wasting her own time by being with someone who doesnt want to get married after 5 years together, when marriage is important to her. She should break up with him.
OP: Do not string her along. Let her know how you feel and that maybe in the future you will want marriage, maybe not, either way it’s off the table and there is no point in fighting about it.
She’ll probably leave you, but that’s probably for the best.
You're so right. I have the bad habit of taking people on knowing they could be better. Thing is, this is only showing up after months of everything being perfect (again not a surprise, but it's after I felt comfortable to move in with him which I've only done a couple of times prior).
Of course it's not true. I have platonic friendships with men and there's not a whiff of sex anywhere. One very dear friend I met at work so my partner didn't know him. He suspected I was having an affair, while I was helping the friend prepare his wedding proposal and then wedding! The friend is like 15 years younger than me, so honestly it would have been weird!!
Total BS this guy. He's saying ridiculous things just to try to hurt you. He's such a worthless character, he has to badmouth all other men so that he looks better than them. It's a kind of negging.
I'm not sure why she has those posts up, they didn't end on a good note. He burned all the paintings and other stuff she made for him. Thank you though for those kind words ?
I'd call that an acquaintance.
You deserve to have a partner that builds you up. Not this dirtbag.
Essentially, my partner told his dad he wished he visited us more. The message itself was well-meant, but since his dad's dad had just passed it was a too sensitive timing.
I'm not extemely upset with my partner, but don't see it as if he has no blame in it at all. He isn't a saint and he could've communicated better. He could've been more considerate and I've voiced this to him. The response of his family however is absolutely out of proportion. I'm sure that if anyone had commented on his behavior, he would've apolagized and expressed his feelings better. He never got the chance too. I do feel for him, cause I can't imagine not being able to rely on my family. He's becoming a dad himself and it must be scary bot having the support of his family.
I just feel that if I'm “ghosting them back”' over important things such as the birth ot a baby, I'm no better than them?
Y'all are sexually incompatible. He wants the amount of sex he wants and you want more. There's absolutely nothing you can do to fix this. If at 26 this is the amount of sex he's interested in having I can only imagine how much less energy he's going to
$5000 a month is my husband's money.
he might have a porn/masturbation addiction
OP!!! MY NOW EX that I described in my other comment is ALSO on steroids! He self-doses and is constantly changing his dose and I have always suspected it contributes to his behavior, but unsure. He is in the medical field so he feels he can mess with that stuff safely, and claims it improves his health. When he would treat me horribly, he would blame his meds/dose.