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Maybe they have a rule where they don't act like lovers via text but have meet up times or codes. People go through great lengths to cheat.
There’s an old saying that I think is applicable here. Don’t light yourself on fire to keep somebody else warm. You’re suffering in this scenario. How is that fair?
Every month or two I see similar stories here, most likely written by a Trans person themselves. It's their version of a fairy tale and happily ever after.
i will try therapy, my parents got engaged 3 months after meeting and they definitely shouldn’t have, that must stress me a bit
Thank you for explaining that. I don’t want him to choose, obviously I want to get along with everyone. They want us all to hangout all the time and I’m willing to do that, I moved across the world! But I don’t see why it would be beef with his sister jus too ask why she didn’t consider getting me something or just mention that it would’ve been nice to? Or encourage her to get a card? I guess I’m really missing something here or being crazy, because I would’ve been able to communicate that to my own sister or parents, in a diplomatic or nonchalant way…. But he just worn
To be clear – you like noses when people can't fucking breathe properly and want help figuring out how to tell her that?
She did this for a medical reason.
When I'm home from work I'll contact my therapist and see if he is willing to have an appointment with both of us. Maybe it can snowball into her going on her own to another therapist. This definitely isn't a “learning who she is now” moment. We've been super close for damn near 16 years now.
Dump him today. Start 2023 on a clean slate. And honestly don’t worry about never finding someone again. I had so many friends who were more often single than not until their mid to late twenties and ended up with GREAT guys (personally it took me until early 30s and I wouldn’t change a thing). You’ll fall in love with someone better, and in five years you will look back on this messed up relationship and wonder what you saw in him.
Get an obviously fake one as a placeholder and tell her you’ll go shopping for a real one with her afterwards.
You already gave up your bedroom because your parents are there to “help” and you're sleeping on a futon. They've been there for weeks. Then you want your husband to move else after coming home from traveling?
I'd be pissed, too.
Send your parents home or send them to a hotel. Husband gets the bedroom until he tests negative.
It's a circling conversation becuase you're not having a conversation with her about it, you're trying to talk your way around her views and morals to convince her you should go without it negatively affecting you.
You're a selfish pos tbh.
Perfectly stated
no sorry you're being dramatic about a fever while ignoring the fact your boyfriend kidnapped you.
Maybe one day you will understand what a serious crime he committed
Ask yourself 2 questions
how long would it take for someone to notice you were missing and come and release you (if he hadn't) how long would it take for someone to notice you had been killed while handcuffed to your own bed
I just think that at places especially like this
That's the thing, you're falling for an elaborate sham, where everybody acts snobby and “high class” and everything looks delicate and expensive in order to get more money from you. It's a (pretty transparent) ruse to make you feel important for even sitting there so you wouldn't feel bad for paying that much money for what constitutes not much more than a regular meal. Your boyfriend obviously doesn't care about any of it and isn't buying into the dog and pony show the restaurant is putting on.
With all of that said, if you've told your bf how you feel, and he doesn't take your feelings into consideration, there is no way you'll get through to him as he refuses to listen to you. It's now up to you if you'll start avoiding high end restaurants or maybe even break up with him if this is a dealbreaker.
How is it a guy with ten more years of work experience and saving opportunity is borrowing money from a broke 21 year old woman? Like, why? Sad.
Same but also recognize that his feelings are not your responsibility as long as you're still being a decent human. At this point in my relationship I can say “I just need a minute alone” and it's not a big deal.
If you don’t, a few things could happen. You’ll always feel shitty about it; if/when he finds out, he won’t trust you. Not being honest rarely ends well for either person. If you truly care about and respect them, tell them.
Lying is the worst and a manifest of things to come. Let him be. If it was meant to be and he wants to know why you lied you can answer him but don’t apologize as he don’t want to hear that
But B.V. isn’t a STD. So wait for your results before inferring.
So I wasn't making a suggestion, I'm asking because I'm trying to understand what you're facing.
Yes, those things are red flags since you’ve only known him for six weeks, the “share his woman” sounds possessive, and it shouldn’t matter what gender your friends are.
Proceed with caution even for the friendship. I wouldn’t suggest dating him. In case he ends up being a stalkerish creep, don’t give him much information about where you live!, work, and spend time for now.
I am monogamous so is my husbands. Every monogamous man who gets influenced by these poly couples ends up regretting it. (No shad on poly if your poly good for you but you know your poly and you should stay away from monogamous people)
Either they lose the family they created because there wife has enough self respect to leave. Or the wife says sure and gets way more stranger ? then the husband could have imagined and OOO he’s Not actually Polly just wants to sleep around while locking down his wife and the happy home she made them.
The guy next door just pulled this on his wife and 3 year old child. He started relationships with other women told his wife they were poly now. The mom kicked him out bc she wasn’t a fan of him bring home STD’s. It was gross. The child cries every time he stop bye to visit but to him random women were more important then his family. Men just use Poly as an excuse to cheat.
Go talk to a lawyer and see what your options are. Therapy won’t work if you have already mentally left the relationship. You can try it but if your done your done.
O and my grandparents have been together 60+ years got married at 17. My grandfather would have a Heart attack if anyone suggested poly to him. So yea you’d husband reasoning is ?
Right. It's one thing to not have a choice and have to birth a child as a single parent, then you do everything you can to raise that kid not wanting for anything but nobody should purposefully create a person for themselves like that. An embryo gives zero shits if it's aborted but the child it will grow into will sure shit have to deal with the fact that the kids in school will call them out for their mom having a baby daddy.
Idk I would consider that this woman, if he marries her, will also have a role in your child’s life. Are you okay with that? If not I’m not sure I would say anything. I wouldn’t tell. I personally couldn’t stand the thought of some random woman having unsupervised access to my child. If you tell him, he’s well within his right to request a custody agreement that grants this.
This. I'm still friends with people I have fucked and my husband is not one little bit threatened by it, because he trusts me. These are people I have 0 sexual interest in anymore and are just friends. I've literally never cheated on him in our 8 years together.
I am empathetic to that. If I were you I wouldn’t mention it for a while and try to focus on the things that are going well in your relationship.
Do you think you will be able to come to the USA and is she asking for you to?
You need to judge your relationship based on its own individual merits and not because there is someone else in the picture(ish). Ending one long relationship to hop into another is generally a really bad idea. To what extent is this other person involved- do they know that you have feelings for them (and are they reciprocating that)? If so, many would class what you're up to here as emotional cheating (basically you're not physically cheating but your heart has otherwise strayed towards another). There's no point in agreeing to get back together with someone if you then hold the past against them for the 8+ years of the relationship. I'm aware that things took work, but to still be focusing on the past at this point would suggest that you never really got over (nor totally forgave) what happened. Do you not want to have children in general, or just not with this particular partner/relationship? I think it is a bit concerning that your partner is somewhat ambivilent about having children, being totally fine with not having them as long as you promise her 100% committment. This sounds like your partner feels uneasy and isolated in your relationship and wants to have children to feel loved and stabilized.
Where did OP mention moving in together?
I'm sorry, I really have little sympathy for people who have dogs but who refuse to make their lives better by giving proper support & training (not to mention you).
I get why you feel hurt, honestly! But hanging out with your friends (especially a group of friends) is a very different dynamic than hanging out one-on-one with a partner. I wouldn't say that hanging out with my friends is more or less fun than hanging out with my boyfriend– it's just different, in the same way that I love them both for different reasons and in different ways. You can't really compare the two.
I guess the question is, do you feel like the two of you are having enough fun in your relationship in general? Like, if you never saw the way he interacts with his friends, would you be happy and satisfied with the way you two interact and have fun?
You’re married to someone who been married four times , I guess this is one of the big red flags … not even marriage counseling will help … leave that man and focus on yourself more .
She's prolly fucked a few footballers already.
I agree, you may not be mature enough to be with him. She is gone, and he is with you, that’s it, and is also a nude thing for him, that happened in his life and is part of who he is, and was probably traumatic. You should be considering how naked it must have been for him instead of getting jealous of a ghost.
Exactly this. I think you need to have a more in-depth conversation about this, OP
Block her number and stop reconnecting with a cheater.
Shame on her for being in a position of authority and sleeping around on a work trip. Totally unprofessional. A woman that is willing to put her marriage and job in jeopardy just to have a fun night is not a woman you want a future with.
You don't. He likes 18 year olds.
Info: how did you meet him?
How is he suppose to follow her advice if according to her everything is great?