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I’m sure calling her a hooker doesn’t make you feel better about it, does it?
She told me that she didn’t focus during the lecture, I’m thinking of sending her my notes after a while, does this make me cringe?
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Seriously every age gap post lately ops try and defend it with the stupidest sorriest defenses and they just can't see even though everyone in the comments points to it and they are just like no this is different. If 100s of people tell you your wrong you almost probably are.
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Any time!
Take all the time you need. There is no clear cut answer ever, so please keep in mind what I shared was just my experience, so yours could be different. But either way, keep your goals in mind in whatever decision you make.
To try and work it out, both of you need space, you especially need space to sort your mind out. Working it out with therapists, giving yourself time to sort out your feelings by yourself and because you both aren’t the same as before, getting reacquainted with the new you’s, is the only way to make this work. The fact is that you can’t go back to who you two were, those people who trusted each other and relied no each other no longer exist.
Also, you child will 100% be happier in a two parent household where the parents are happy and cordial, over a household which is filled with resentment, bitterness and a checked out parent. Your step-fathers behaviour is not what you should be using to justify being trapped in a relationship that’s potentially over.
“seemed a bit angry with me for whatever reason”
“she tells me she's going to leave me because I'm jealous and possessive”
“So I tell her she doesn't mean that”
“she tells me she's going out”
“I block the door and tell her I won't let her”
Listen to what is she saying and don't try to be controlling.
“I'm covered in bruises and scratches and I find out she told her mom that I was being violent with her” – is she covered in anything?
Anyway, for no reason she got upset, accused you of being jealous and possessive, wanted to leave you…. And you dismissed her, told her basically that she's drunk and can't think properly.
I mentioned he does not care about trades in my post
thank you i really appreciate your advice
What? No. Go back to church and get off Reddit with that BS.
The worst is the amount of grown women on here that say “I can’t imagine why a 30 year old would fuck a teen but when I was 18 I dated a 30 year old and it was fine.”
It wasn’t fine. You were taken advantage of. You know it. Please be better and protect children and teens from this vile bullshit.
Listen to your gut, it will never steer your wrong.
When people show you who they are, believe them. She’s insecure and reactive. I think you dodged a bullet here.
My friend Please leave It's obvious he is just using for sex when he's bored and does not care for you in any matter you deserve better
He's showing you exactly who he is. Believe him and decide to do what is best for you.
It is tough to say because it depends on the root cause of the negativity.
If he is by default a negative person; complains about everything all the time, then no, he won’t change. I have a relative who is like this. Complains about everything always. Has always been like that and won’t change. If it is a sunny day with songbirds singing this relative would complain that the sun was too bright and the birds too loud.
If he is negative because of upbringing – unconsciously biased – then that can potentially change if he is open to doing the work. That means understanding why he feels that way and working way through seeing people as people and not as stereotypes.
If he is negative because of a bad experience then that goes with the above.
If he’s negative because of ideology then nope. You’re more likely to win the lottery than change someone’s ideologies in this day and age. If he truly believes everything he is saying then changing that is a fool’s errand.
Or he could also being negative because he is lashing out – new area, uncomfortable, feeling stressed. He isn’t really angry about what he is saying he is angry about and is redirecting. That can be worked on as well.
In the meantime you both can agree on an inoffensive way of flagging when either of you talk negative to alert and change the topic. Something like “Hey, I hear you but can we talk about for a bit?” And make sure you have a topic in mind. If you simply say “Can we stop talking about this” with nothing else then it is really easy just to pause and go right back to it.
And if nothing improves then it is time to seriously reconsider the relationship.
I get it now, if people think that you're an absolute weapon, it's not because you are, it's because they're “narrow minded, black and white thinkers”. Oh to be so enlightened as you
He says he doesn’t owe random people a dime
Random people paid for those food stamps he needed to survive childhood. And his scholarship to college.
Look i know you say you're “lifelong democrats” but you've only been adults for a few years. This kind of flipping sides once it's their money involved is unfortunately what you can look forward to see from people you thought you knew before. And you can never tell who's going to go this way. It's rough. NIMBY-ism applies to everything and comes at you out of nowhere.
Another thing that's prevalent, and this is likely the first time you've seen it, is people who crawled out of a bad situation and think they did it alone and no one else should be helped either. It's toxic and you'll even see it from immigrants who hate on refugees. Over and over.
Seeing people turn like this is adulthood. I'm sorry. It doesn't get easier.
What she chooses to wear is her business. That's basic autonomy 101. You know how people know if she's single or not? She tells them when they ask. You must have some serious trust issues if you think a top is going to make her cheat on you. And so what if other people look at her? She's in her 20's and feeling herself. Kudos to her.
Can't make good wine from bad grapes
It has nothing to do with you, you have a shitty partner. There is nothing you could have done or can do for him to not be shitty because he is and that is his problem. Put the blame where it belongs and do not let this man treat you like this whatever his awful reason is…..
Girl, you deserve better. His behaviour will not stop; it will only get worse.
Your partner not tearing you down is the bare MINIMUM for relationship standards. He is not even doing the bare minimum. If you leave him now, he might apologize and say he'll do better, and maybe for a little bit he even will, but it won't last. It will just be because he's afraid you'll leave him. And a guy like that, who uses those words on you whenever you feel confident, let alone at all… he's not a good guy, period. The way someone treats you during the earlier part of your relationship is a great tell for how well they'll treat you later on. You can do so much better. ❤️
Who cares if he sees it as revenge? That's obviously not the case and you want to have this baby.
Your body your choice. I'm assuming he's a narcissist if he's holding abortion over your head.
He’s not respecting you at all. May I ask why you want to be with a person who would do this to you? Pretend one of your friends told you this situation and think about the advice you would offer your friend.
I think that breaking up and seeking out something new that better fulfils your needs is the way to go.
Maybe you'll end up waiting years for the distance to no longer be a problem and realize you never really liked him that much, it was all more wishful thinking than anything.
This is often a problem with LDRs.
Me neither.
Weird people telling OP to leeeeeaaave without actually knowing if that guy even told the truth?!
I know that at one time I had been made a bad reputation which I did NOT deserve!
As one guy I had been dating (chaste kisses allowed, but no paws up my shirt and nothing else!) had boasted about more than what ever happened!
Who knows if that guy wasn't one of those she had rejected?
Also: judging somebody for not telling your sex memories… whose idea is that?
That's immature.
Plot twist of the year!
If you believe he is a narcissist, why are you with him?
Agreed. Ever sent the wrong attachment? Now your boss has a pic of my boobs. No, thank you.
Even the most well-intentioned person can make mistakes. I'll pass.
OP, your bf doesn't sound like he has the best of intentions towards you. Naked no, and hold to it if you aren't 100% comfortable.
Yes right
I would leave her. Do you want to raise someone else’s kid knowing that it only exists because she cheated on you? Walk away now and find someone who doesn’t treat you like shit.
You put things on the plate wrong and tightened the lids too much?! This is getting into the realm of verbal and emotional abuse. Dump her. She will only get worse. Soon you will be walking wrong and blinking too loud. She will only hurt you and your mental health and seems to bring absolutely nothing to the table.
Be trustworthy is more than just not cheating, but also not putting yourself in situations that look sketchy as well. This is some mind game shit that I would expect from a 20 something year old. Here’s my take:
She’s keeping her options open for something “better” to swing to
She’s keeping a couple of fallback options in arm’s reach just in case you two break up. Which in return means that she’s not fully invested in your relationship.
It’s a control thing. There’s a piece of her that enjoys seeing you anxious about her 1 on 1 time with other guys. Kind of keeping you in your place & silently letting you know that she can replace you.
You have to ask yourself if this is just a one off time of clear manipulation and sketchiness or is it a pattern that you’ve ignored. My guess, is that once you look deeper you’ll see other things that you do not like. Keep repeating yourself, because she’s heard you. She just doesn’t respect you enough to care.