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So, what did you learn today?
I’ve found that too, why many American call themselves different nationalities is quite odd. You’re only Irish or Italian if you’re actually from those countries.
If OP stays with this guy, she should insist on a prenup. I have a feeling she'll need it more than he will.
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Instead of asking him to do things, tell him you feel consumed by your long day and all the responsibilities. Focus on how it affects you.
If he says “but in the apartment I supported you and you never even worked!” you reply “that's true but it doesn't affect my current situation. I can't keep up like this.”
It doesn’t matter what will be said here, you’ll do him
Those people are wrong.
If she thinks crying makes you weak, she's wrong, toxic, and a bad partner. But she probably won't!
He cheated after not even a year and now he physically abuses you. Why are you still with him? Leave.
She doesn't control other people's behaviours and neither do you. It sounds like she is good at addressing and deflecting stuff as it happens.
It isn't OK to curtail her experiences because of things out of her control.
Keep it professional. You are just starting out, you don't want to be branded someone who falls for others at work. Stop being flirty, others will notice and will report it.
Not to mince words, but she seems more narcissistic personality disorder to me, than borderline. But personality disorders can be difficult to diagnose, so let's not go there.
Don't have anything further to do with her. Block her, even. Let any mutual friends know that she has a history of untrue allegations against you and they should be cautious believing anything she says about you.
What's he doing the 4 days he has off exactly? I get he'd want to rest one day, but he'd still have 3 days to do chores and help, but he isn't… so how does he spend his time? On the couch?
It sounded deliberate from what OP said and he said he did it due to a trauma reaction. And the fact he was doing it all over her torso and face instead of turning away sounds intentional. Dude needs therapy.
Thank you!! This is exactly why I have the insecurities. I don’t feel like he’s “coming out” or “accepting himself” simply bc he I am the only guy he sees this way. Even as of yesterday he doesn’t find any other guy attractive but says he does to me only.
Idc if his family is homophobic and he says they aren’t just that it’s gonna come to a real shock to them. I don’t mind waiting but it’s the combination of things that worries me.
Yikes, what a turd.
First of all, congrats on losing that baggage. What a waste of your time, I'm sorry if you're feeling hurt from all this.
Take the time and effort to take good care of yourself: diet, exercise, socialize, sleep. You're in recovery from the hurt, carve out some space to nurture yourself.
After a breakup, an easy thing to do to make yourself feel better is to journal two or three things about you that make you a good partner in a relationship. Do this every day. It can be as big or as little as you want: I'm a deeply spiritual and complete person, or I have excellent taste in shoes and that reflects well on my partner. Whatever you like, as long as you sincerely connect to God qualities that will suit you in future relationships.
You can journal this, say it to a mirror, post it in sky writing. The big thing is to exercise the part of your brain that values you ❤️
He’s not body shaming her in your book? How sad…
Don't stress too much!! Most women I know actually had kids around and after mid 30s! It's a matter of being careful. My mom had me at 32, my cousin just had a kid at 39, my friend's mother also had her when her mom was 39, my old doctor told me she had her kid at 47!! (Although 47 is definitely pushing it, and lots of women will struggle at that age).
It's also really, really common for women in different countries to be having their first kids (or kids in general) around their early-mid 30s. The average age in many, many countries for women to have their first kid is in their 30s (mostly early 30s tho), and that age is consistently rising.
Point that I'm making is, be safe, but don't worry too much. There can be a risk, but it's pretty low. Both men and women start kind of falling off a bit after 35, so both people should be aware of that. Overall tho, you don't need to stress like you're on the brink of not being able to have a safe, healthy pregnancy and child. You aren't.
I think it’s fine to cut ties. But just because someone is not kind to you doesn’t mean you should be unkind to them. Being ghosted can be really traumatising, I think the right thing to do is to explain why OP is taking their distance.
The problem is he wants to clean but constantly gets sidetracked then gets upset. His job took the space they gave him for his tools and what not. Sometimes I don’t plan and I don’t get upset if something doesn’t go according to plan. He has anger issues that he inherited from both sides of his family. When I met him he kept his apartment clean.
Lmao, a tale as old as time
Even police know not to necessarily trust the contents of a polygraph test, making it less used than it used to be.
Trust me your daughter will be miserable living in a home full of resentment and jealousy. It will impact her for the rest of her life. Her idea of a home will be one with resentment and fights.
It's better for you to make an healthy relationship with your wife and co-parent with her via divorce, atleast your daughter would know how to handle relationships. Do you want your daughter to think it's okay to stay with a cheater or abuser? Because that's the example you're setting.
I am not recommending you couple's therapy cuz there's nothing to salvage here but lies. She lied for 3 years and she's still lying, “just cuddling in private but in public he was groping my breasts in public” Are you kidding me?
For the love of whatever, they were thinking of you! There's this thing that isn't bad but you might not handle it well and they didn't know how to handle approaching it gently. Two men trying to navigate your feelings, shit the bed. Oh well, they cared. They didn't want to just drop it on you but hadn't figured out the best way. You are not betrayed, you are loved
Have you asked her about it?
If he was controlling he could be trying to sabotage the relationship.
I mean I know some girls that wear very pretty lingerie under their clothes when they go out. I don’t know if that’s normal though. I’ve never done that. Nice underwear yes, but not proper lingerie.
What is your goal for a game plan? What you intend to accomplish will determine your game plan.
Do you want to shock her out of this and prevent any further infidelity? And if so, would the goal here be staying in the marriage?
Do you want more information because you’re not sure what is going on? And you want to be absolutely sure before taking any action toward divorce?
Do you simply want to divorce? And in this case do you on-line in an at fault state?
For everyone who is giving me advice i want to say thank you (Even though it’s not what i would want to hear particularly its still the truth and i am thankful for your honesty).
Buying gifts for her from his travels! ???
I think if you broke up it was for a reason. But that’s not a hard and fast rule, and figure out why. good luck however it goes mate 🙂
You left to come home. That's a good decision. Now you need to stay away from him. Do you have some friends who could stay with you (ideally people you have known a long time who are stable) and they can remind you that you don't need him in your life.
Gather up his stuff and maybe get someone else to arrange him picking it up.
The decision whether to go to the authorities is yours – but since he knows your address, it might be good to get some kind of order against him if you think he will threaten you again. He already has a record for assault according to you, but your evidence may help future partners/victims.
My sister was in a similar relationship many year ago. I can't remember which incident was the final straw, but she did manage to quit him eventually. A couple of years later she heard from a girl ten years younger than her, his next girlfriend, who was in danger of losing her kids because of his behaviour. So think of yourself, and your kid, and go on to on-line your life without him.
You can forgive your wife after you serve divorce papers. She broke those vows before you and your faith. You have to find your way to that forgiveness with the understanding that betrayals have consequence. Forgiveness and trust are two different things. The trust is over. You’ve been used and their claim of shame doesn’t have a damn thing to do with how you should feel. Your community should support you regardless of your decision and if they don’t? It seems like what they think you should do is about appeasing their own emotional inconveniences and not about yours. Being a religious community, of course, they’re going to drag God’s name into it to their convenience but that relationship is yours and I don’t think either choice (leaving or staying) is some dealbreaker within your faith. Faith does not mean freedom from consequence.
Link?? So curious now