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A guy who can't be upfront about day to day discussions and chores certainly isn't going to be a partner when it comes to putting together a will, life insurance, a 401k, a mortgage, and taking care of elderly parents, not to mention how he'll act as a father. Why wait around to see if he'll enter adulthood, when there are a lot of nice, considerate, honest guys out there?
They don’t pay him!?!? HA! You don’t want to wake me up anymore? Ok, then you can pay for all the gas to and from school.
I have insurance covered, but gas is now YOUR responsibility if you want a ride with me…..is what your son or you should say to those girls.
HOWEVER, I will say, my parents bought our cars and we had to pay for gas/insurance….we were still required to operate as a family and contribute with rides for siblings, BUT we were ALL required to have our license at 16 so we can help out…if we wanted our parents to help purchase the car.
That sounds abusive
Thank you
What do you mean by 'disconnect'?
I’m not sure how a relationship can possibly work without communicating or shutting down feelings.
It can't.
How can I express to him that I’m not trying to “start a fight”.
I'm not sure you can. It seems like it doesn't matter what you say or how you approach it, your boyfriend considers any criticism of his behavior to be “a fight” and therefore…invalid? something he doesn't have to care about?
I mean…is she fucking tired?
I didn't sleep with anyone yet either
Different work settings involve different people and different dynamics, so if this is happening at every single job, you need to consider the common denominator, which is you. Since beautiful women do manage to get and keep jobs, it is likely not your stunning beauty.
Maybe you just got unlucky several times in a row. Office politics can be a bitch, for sure. But at some point you're going to have to learn to overcome the attitudes of shitty people. If you run every time someone looks at you wrong, you're going to have a whole lot of trouble in life
People will gossip. It's a thing people do. You have to learn to ignore that. Do your work, smile politely, go home. Be effective, competent, and professional. They don't have to like you. Not everyone will. But the amount of harm they can do is limited if you don't give a shit what they think of you.
” I just wish I was allowed to have those few times a year” OP, my heart hurts for you. Please bring those emotions to a therapist to help you sort through them.
As a mother and teacher, I'm extremely concerned for your nieces/nephews. Please imagine him hurting them as you were hurt and see if that makes it easier to have perspective on this. No child should be near him. Period. You can heal from this, with your own efforts, with the support of your wife. You don't need anything from him. I promise
This is not normal op. ??? please be careful.
I know, and I’m sorry. Sometimes it’s just so hard to read the stuff on this website and not get frustrated at how so much could be avoided with a little more forethought.
Why have you not gotten a trash can?
I don’t know. The unfortunate thing is that this has tarnished her image in front of you. A lot of guys know their girlfriends and wives have been with other men. It’s a given if they are divorced or had broken up with another guy. But it’s a wholly different thing to see her sexually active with her ex. That is up to you. Can you forgive and forget or has it diminished her in front of your eyes? I don’t think I can ever let it go.
This! Thank you, I was losing faith in my fellow Redditors after reading some of the vile hatred being spewed at OP. OP did a nice thing that I would hope most partners would appreciate, and if not, use your words like a grown up and explain the issue! If she was just sobbing and then happy, then sobbing, then happy, how in the hell would OP know how to best react? And when he offered to take her back to work, she freaks out on him?! What the hell??
Nope. Those are his own group of friends from university
Yea but that’s gross. Just laying there farting a lot and it wafting up the sheets. If you’re both chilling in bed and it’s constant fart fart fart that’s horrible. Sometimes sure but I mean damn
He’s seeing someone else hun.
Women mourn. Men replace.
I personally don't get how such things happen. How do you not push him away instantly and then call your husband.
Once is a mistake. Repeats are what they want to do. Have some self respect because he sure doesn't respect you.
That is probably not the best idea unless all the assets were op's coming into the marriage.
Wouldn't surprise me if he attempts it, op needs a lawyer.
She is bipolar (am OP)
Needs more context, as long as it wasn’t inappropriate that’s fine imo. I’m married and my husband and I both have friends/coworkers/acquaintances of the opposite sex that we chat with from time to time or send memes to. Flirting, thrust trap replies, or other sketch behaviour is a no-go though.
Your girlfriend sounds like she has very high expectations for a relationship. You sound like a doormat. Both of you sound like you’re bad communicators.
Buzzfeed, google, and rom coms are all terrible places for romantic advice. Reddit is hit or miss, but I’d take the advice here with a grain of salt.
I highly recommend therapy. You need to work on understanding what you want in a relationship and how to communicate that to a partner.
Well first off, it’s not your fault that your country invaded another country and it’s destroying it. I don’t blame him from not wanting to go back to Russia go to Russia, so many companies and nations have distance themselves from Russia.
It is not safe for you and your country. It has nothing to do with you. It’s the way the situation it is right now, so no I don’t think he’s been controlling at all. I think he’s trying to take care of you and keep the woman that he loves safe .
Agreed
I cum about 3 times a day. I do not expect my girlfriend to be willing to have sex with me 3 times a day, every day, at my whim. Even if she would do that it isnt always feasible time wise to do so.
Porn is quite different from cheating. You have your beliefs on it but it just makes fapping easier.
Sir, your daughter is an adult if she’s still not willing to have a relationship then you need to step back and focus on the child and the wife let her know you love her and you’re always there. But life needs to change.
I don't think she did anything wrong.
Maybe kissing a girl you are crushing on while you are both drunk isn't a great way to start dating.
It is a great way to pick up diseases.
Thank you for this thoughtful answer. Hearing you say that it’s a conscious effort to stay committed makes a lot of sense, I agree with a lot of your observations. Yes I always play out “what if” scenarios in my mind and while I’d like to think that the grass will be greener if I make a change, the odds are that it will be worse. While I value stability, I think I still long for that bit of excitement that comes with a new relationship.
I have met one or two people and thought that we have more in common/are better suited for each other than my partner but nothing much came from it and the feeling faded. 12 years of history is a lot to overcome when thinking about making a big life altering change. There has not been anyone I’ve encountered that I’d risk my relationship with but I’m not closing that door completely. I believe people evolve and their needs change, so if I or my partner meets someone else that can fulfill our needs better then I think it's worth pursuing.
Ignore that. There is a small minority on here that seems bound and determined to do all kinds of cortortionist tricks to make you the bad guy.
If you needed space from your gf of 14 days after the death of your parent, it's fine.
That's really mean. You didn't deserve that. If she didn't want you playing with her clothes she should have asked you nicely to stop.
To start, I'm genuinely concerned that my comment here might come off a bit controversial, so I really want to try to word this as delicate as possible. I also want to be crystal clear off the bat that what happened to you is completely unacceptable, no one should discount that, and I'm absolutely not discounting that.
Having said that, I really think you're going out of your way to unnecessarily make this a much bigger issue than it is, likely because you're incredibly insecure and co-dependent. So let's go through it all; some scumbag inappropriately grabbed you. Not ok. You have strong feelings about it; completely ok.
But when you told your girlfriend, what support were you expecting? What would have been sufficient? What exactly did she say? Separately, were you the victim of trauma in the past?
Yeah. That’s nice you love her. However she has not love or respect for you. Move on.
PRESS CHARGES.
I had an interview today with a recruiter agency to be a contract employee for an internet service provider. It’s not ideal but it’s a start in the IT industry!
You are not wrong – you don't have to do any setting up of anybody.
G is wrong. If G wants to go out with H, G can pick up the damn phone. She's also wrong for getting all petulant about it (see first sentence). She's also Very Wrong to meddle in your business and openly try to undermine your relationship. Over what? NOTHING! Who does this??
Worse still, your boyfriend M is wrong. He knows the whole situation – he knows you, H and you, and I assume he knows G – yet he lets G's bullshit get under his skin.
G is a childish manipulator. M has insecurity issues. They both suck right about now.
Maybe you should date H. You two seem to be the only adults in the room.
Well there's your answer. Your peace of mind and comfort don't matter to him. I am sure that you are cleaning up after them.
??? wow do not move in with this jerk, are you kidding regarding his bday gift was awesome and very thoughtful. If you don’t end this with him, you will have a lifelong issues with this man and you already know his ex-wife had issues. Huge Narcissist
You just sound insecure. He's with you! It's just fantasy. Everyone is allowed that.
Ah, if you are paying$1k towards all that, plus groceries, then you are already paying for his costs
Even if the boyfriend still had mortgage payments to make, OP's name isn't on the deed, so they shouldn't be making payments towards something they have no rights to. The boyfriend is responsible for the house, so he should make the payments. OP can contribute by paying utilities and groceries and by completing half of the chores. Any renovations or maintenance of the property should be handled by the boyfriend. OP should also get a signed agreement. Personally, I don't like the sound of this, and if I were OP, I'd reconsider moving in together. It sounds like the boyfriend is trying to profit off of OP.
Mine is a monthly 50$ payment, and then I pay 98$ a month after graduation
I might tack onto this response but I want to say that if she got confused about the nature of your relationship it wasn't because you led her on? But because she was seeing what she needed to see. I don't believe you would do that. I just have a strong sense of your ethics from a very thin slice. Sorry if my response implied anything else.